ubikcan

December 12, 2010

Where are they now? Liverpool vs. AC Milan, 2005

Filed under: football, Humor — ubikcan @ 10:37 am

Here are two football teams battling for the biggest prize in Europe. Can you guess who they are? (Cue “Camberwick Green” music¹).

Yes, it’s 2005 and the Champions League Final:

And who was playing on that night?

MILAN:
GK 1 Brazil Dida
RB 2 Brazil Cafu
CB 31 Netherlands Jaap Stam
CB 13 Italy Alessandro Nesta
LB 3 Italy Paolo Maldini (c)
DM 21 Italy Andrea Pirlo
RM 8 Italy Gennaro Gattuso Substituted off in the 112th minute 112′
LM 20 Netherlands Clarence Seedorf Substituted off in the 86th minute 86′
AM 22 Brazil Kaká
CF 7 Ukraine Andriy Shevchenko
CF 11 Argentina Hernán Crespo Substituted off in the 85th minute 85′
LIVERPOOL:
GK 1 Poland Jerzy Dudek
RB 3 Republic of Ireland Steve Finnan Substituted off in the 46th minute 46′
CB 23 England Jamie Carragher Booked in the 75th minute 75′
CB 4 Finland Sami Hyypiä
LB 21 Mali Djimi Traoré
DM 14 Spain Xabi Alonso
RM 10 Spain Luis García
CM 8 England Steven Gerrard (c)
LM 6 Norway John Arne Riise
SS 7 Australia Harry Kewell Substituted off in the 23rd minute 23′
CF 5 Czech Republic Milan Baroš Booked in the 81st minute 81′ Substituted off in the 85th minute 85

Of all the Liverpool players, only Stevie Gerrard and Carra can still be found (and actually they’re both out injured).

So where are they now? Here’s the tale of the tables:

Yes, where Milan lead the top of their table by 6 points, Liverpool are in 9th and yesterday lost to Newcastle, who’ve been playing so badly they recently sacked their manager (as did Liverpool last season). We’re looking at a top ten finish at best.

Two seasons ago we came 2nd in the league and Torres scored the most goals of any foreign newcomer to the EPL. Now Torres has struggled with injury and is reduced to bickering (OK, he played in the World Cup Final, but pulled up injured and didn’t score).

I’ll always support Liverpool of course and have 2005 (and 1977) to remember but A) we shouldn’t have sold Alonso (he scored the tying goal remember) and B) we really need to buy in the January transfer window. Otherwise Milan have the last laugh.

And I ain’t just being Windy Miller.

¹If you’ve never seen this or forgotten it, it was a children’s show back in the 60s-70s, and more recently was referred to in the second season of Life on Mars.

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April 22, 2009

New Zealand needs a new name – official

Filed under: Humor — ubikcan @ 12:16 pm

Those crazy kiwis! They forgot to officially register the names of New Zealand’s two major islands, North Island and South Island. Now they need new names.

I love the suggestions from readers:

How about “Not Australia” and “Still Not Australia”?
Kevin, Austin, Texas

I have heard strong support for NW Christchurch and for SW Auckland
Sven Grammersdorf, Wellington, North Island

Why not pick names from Middle Earth to get the tourist numbers back up?

Gondor and Mordor? Wellington should be changed to Hobbiton, Auckland Rivendell. The English names are ugly anyway.
Stephen McPhillips, Denmark, from New Zealand

I would call them the 51st and the 52nd State of the USA
Bob, Auckland

Changing them will only cause confusion and this will also lose New Zealand business money. New Zealand has gone far too politically correct: this is another way of highlighting this fact, changing these names to Maori will serve no purpose as only a few hundred thousand people worldwide speak this language.
Benedict Xu-Holland, Wellington, New Zealand

North and South are a bit bland. Perhaps we could call the north “Jafaland”, standing for “just another flamin’ Aucklander” and the South “One-eye Country”, because they’re blind in the other. Or maybe “Dairy” and “Sheep” Islands respectively, to denote the main population. If we’re going Maori, maybe “Ika” (fish) and “Waka” (canoe). Then one can say the other smells like fish, to which they can reply “go paddle it”. Point being, no matter what they’re called, the already-ingrained attitudes between one and the other are not going to change.
Bruce Bisset, Hastings

February 20, 2009

The hypocrimap!

Filed under: cartography, Humor, map, politics — ubikcan @ 3:30 pm

Great idea from the TPM folks:

It’s one thing to accept money from a piece of legislation you campaigned strenuously against. But we’re seeing more and more stories about Republicans who just got done trashing the stimulus bill in Washington and are now back in their districts taking credit for the spending programs contained in it. A lot of the stories have already been written up. But I think there are many, many more out there. So keep an eye on your local media for examples.

See, politics and mapping do go together!

March 2, 2008

The most incredible run of musical hits ever!!

Filed under: Humor, Music — ubikcan @ 5:37 pm

Wikipedia gives us the most incredible run of musical hits ever made. This was during 1972-3.

Just check them out. These are the number 1 hits over that time in order:

Mouldy Old Dough
by Lieutenant Pigeon –who can forget this!!
UK number one single
October 10, 1972

Clair UK number one single
November 7, 1972
Um, ok don’t know that one

My Ding-aling
By Chuck Berry and his only #1 hit (good for trivia!)
UK number one single
November 21, 1972

I’ll be your long-haired lover from Liverpool
Jimmy Osmond
UK number one single

December 12, 1972
Unforgettable stuff! Xmas #1

Blockbuster
The Sweet
UK number one single
January 23, 1973
Incredible song!

Cum on feel the noize!
Slade
UK number one single
February 27, 1973
Unbeatable

The twelfth of never
Donny Osmond
UK number one single
(Donny Osmond version)

March 26, 1973
Oh well.

Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
Dawn featuring Tony Orlando
UK number one single
April 17, 1973
Urk, oh well.

See my baby jive!
Wizzard
UK number one single
May 15, 1973
Back to the greats! ♥ Roy Wood!

Can the can
Suzy Quatro
UK number one single
June 12, 1973
Suzy Q! How well I remember this. The first woman to make an impression on me as a woman. I was 10½.

Rubber bullets
10cc
UK number one single
June 23, 1973
Another classic, somewhat risque because of British actions in Northern Ireland.

Skweeze me pleeze me
Slade
UK number one single
June 30, 1973
Amazing!

Welcome home
Peters and  Lee
UK number one single
July 17, 1973
Ok, don’t remember this one

I’m the leader of the gang I am
Gary Glitter
UK number one single
July 28, 1973

And THEN the year ended with:

Merry Xmas Everybody
Slade
UK number one single
December 11, 1973
The most popular Christmas song evuh!

What a sequence! I’d like to see that beat anywhere, anytime.

Now just for fun since they deserve to be on there, ELO:

February 25, 2008

From bye Mittens to hi Mittens?

Filed under: Humor — ubikcan @ 9:55 pm

Is this a dream?

The Los Angeles Times is reporting that “Josh Romney, one of former Gov. Mitt Romney’s five sons, says it’s ‘possible’ his father may rejoin the race for the White House.”

Oh please, oh please

January 18, 2008

Fall of the house of Rudy: “shag and swag”

Filed under: Humor, politics — ubikcan @ 8:49 am

Interesting analysis:

Based on the numbers at Pollster.com, it would seem that in just about every state Rudy is shedding voters faster than you (or he) can say “9/11”. How are all these ex-rudites breaking? Rudy’s affinity groups seem to me to be militarists, secular/socially liberal republicans (ie, don’t care so much about abortion flip flops or shag) and the generally uninformed who respond to pollsters “Rudy” based on a vague memory of him somehow being a hero in the 9/11 attacks.

It would seem that the secular/socially liberal set would tend to break Romney, who also has shown inexcusable tolerance in the past. Militarists I see primarily going McCain. Romney talks a “good” game on muscular executive power but doesn’t have the warmongering rep of someone who actually dropped bombs on a country. Finally, the generally uninformed are a bit of a wild card as there is always the danger that they actually start paying attention and vote with their more informed affinity. McCain probably has the initial advantage with this set due to higher name recognition but that advantage is rapidly eroding.

McCain is the big winner from the Rudy collapse, and may become the nominee due, as Homer Simpson said: “the two best words in the English language: “De Fault.” My bet however is on Huckabee. He has the advantage of actually seeming to attract people rather than just pick up lifeboats from other campaigns. Plus, as his name recognition improves in each state the generally uninformed will gravitate towards his friendly demeanor. If he can manage to increase his ratings with the militarists without losing too much of the Heart in Huckabee, he has a fairly good chance to win it.

On the other hand, If Rudy were to pull out sooner rather than later and threw his remaining supporters to McCain or Romney then that could very well seal it up for either. Thus there is a possible silver lining for Rudy’s disastrous campaign: the chance to become a king maker of sorts. Will it be enough to attract shag and swag post campaign? I don’t know, but pulling out now can’t possibly be worse than the embarrassment of losing in New York, not to mention losing almost everywhere to the black sheep Ron Paul.

Interviewed on the campaign trail, Rudy supporter Ari Fleischer said “this is great news for Rudy!”

Go Ron Paul!

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January 16, 2008

If there was a race between Giuliani and Kucinich…

Filed under: Humor, politics — Tags: — ubikcan @ 9:08 am

…in Michigan, who would win?

Whaddya know, there was:

Giuliani (R): 24,708 votes
Kucinich (D): 21,715
(99% of precincts reporting).

Yes, with a huge 3% of the votes cast for Giuliani, “this is great news for Rudy” (actual comment last night).

Another actual press release last night, from the Michigan GOP:

“In a close-fought victory, Senator John McCain succeeded again (in) the Michigan Republican primary, winning over a traditionally unpredictable voter base in Michigan.”

Campaign season? What’s not to love?

December 17, 2007

Shorter candidates

Filed under: Humor, politics — ubikcan @ 9:13 am

This is actually quite good. “Shorter candidates” from Atrios (the phrase refers not to their height but is blog-speak for “the short version of”):

Obama: The system sucks, but I’m so awesome that it’ll melt away before me.

Edwards: The system sucks, and we’re gonna have to fight like hell to destroy it.

Clinton: The system sucks, and I know how to work within it more than anyone.

Also I just noticed as well that it got over 800 comments! Atrios got the touch, fershure.

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