Those crazy kiwis! They forgot to officially register the names of New Zealand’s two major islands, North Island and South Island. Now they need new names.
I love the suggestions from readers:
How about “Not Australia” and “Still Not Australia”?
Kevin, Austin, Texas
I have heard strong support for NW Christchurch and for SW Auckland
Sven Grammersdorf, Wellington, North Island
Why not pick names from Middle Earth to get the tourist numbers back up?
Gondor and Mordor? Wellington should be changed to Hobbiton, Auckland Rivendell. The English names are ugly anyway.
Stephen McPhillips, Denmark, from New Zealand
I would call them the 51st and the 52nd State of the USA
Changing them will only cause confusion and this will also lose New Zealand business money. New Zealand has gone far too politically correct: this is another way of highlighting this fact, changing these names to Maori will serve no purpose as only a few hundred thousand people worldwide speak this language.
Benedict Xu-Holland, Wellington, New Zealand
North and South are a bit bland. Perhaps we could call the north “Jafaland”, standing for “just another flamin’ Aucklander” and the South “One-eye Country”, because they’re blind in the other. Or maybe “Dairy” and “Sheep” Islands respectively, to denote the main population. If we’re going Maori, maybe “Ika” (fish) and “Waka” (canoe). Then one can say the other smells like fish, to which they can reply “go paddle it”. Point being, no matter what they’re called, the already-ingrained attitudes between one and the other are not going to change.
Bruce Bisset, Hastings